taena. sorry for the word.pwede naman mag express dito di ba?bad trip na kasi aku eh.ngayon lang aku binaha ng ganito kadaming problema.f*ck.

sige!simulan natin sa mga ka-'not-in-good-terms' ko. and it really sucks ya know. ok lang kung we're not that close eh.kaso ang problema, makakatampuhan ko pa eh mga extra special friends ku. una eh c yana. aww. nagtampo kasi, though di nya sinabi sakin, dahil sa Pinkshoppe. one break time kasi eh i'm really not expecting something to happen but it eventually did. hinintay aku ni ate dixie para magkasama kami ng break time. kaso wrong timing 'cause i'm with yana. though it seems very sweet kasi hinintay nya ku at kinatuwa ku talaga yun. i felt so much welcome in the "barkada" when she did that. kaso nga yun, eh i can't refuse to ate dixie 'cause it's the first time that i would join them!and i would love it. they're great companions!i thought, ok lang kay yana, na she would understand kasi nagpaalam naman aku. tsaka i spend the whole day with her(yana), kaya i thought it really won't offend her if i won't be with her that time. buti was wrong. di pala aku nakapagpaalam ng maayos. my fault. inamin ku naman. but i never talked to her about that matter, since then i never talked to her about anything! maybe i'm too shy to admit my mistake?to tell the world that i was wrong!and i hurt her feelings.siguro ganun nga. pride. that's what it's called.i've got loads of those.pero minsan di na talaga maganda naidudulot. kaso i grew up that way. it's really very hard for me to change. pero ngayon, we're trying to start all over again. nag-uusap na. not like the normal pero much better instead of the 'no-talking-nor-staring-at-all' type.

then i have this argument with a special guy friend. don't want to talk about this too much. we are not-in-good-terms for a couple of weeks and a day now. huh! it's that long na pala!i didn't even notice.kasi di sya nagpaparamdam.as in wala. tumitingin.umiiwas.yun lang ang natatanggap ko from him.now it's not my fault! it's his fault. i know i'm right. and i won't, definitely; make a move to make things better for the two of us. it's not my fault.i know it's not. the brighter side of this quarrel was i noticed some things (specifically people) whom i don't notice before. it's like, he forbid me to appreciate people other than him. of course not directly, but i really have this feeling of a tight blindfold in my eyes that only he can remove. i realized that there are other people that i can pay attention to other than him. if he won't appreciate me, well there's a lot people whose willing to appreciate, accept and give back the care that they receive. but then, no one can replace him. no one.

tapos eto. my sis. sya naman ang nakatampuhan ku. and it's not my fault. that's very clear. i never did anything to offend her or hurt her in any way. kung may tampo man aku, i kept it to myself because i don't want to change things that are running very smoothly that time. (maybe for her?sa tingin nya. kasi sakin, medyo di maayos eh.) then a friend of mine, na napagsabihin ku ng tampo ko sa sis ku eh sinabi pala. (whew. you don't really know who to trust anymore eh?!) then it happened. she knew about everything in an instant. nalaman nya na may tampo aku. she became aware of it last tuesday but she just opened that matter to me through text last saturday. she knew all along and there i was, unaware of it. siguro quits na din kami kasi di ko sinabi sa kanya. then we talked about it, exchange messages about it, she first texted me, told me "magsosorry aku" i was shocked then she explained. i even cried because of one of her text messages. i cried my heart out in my room. my dad even told me to take neozep 'caues he heard me sobbing like hell. then we texted. there is no formal conversation that the conflict was over but i thought that it was because we were texting like nothing happened. then monday came, i was jolly, gay and happy when i went to our line for the morning assembly. i went to chat with my classmates, like the typical morning in school. but i noticed something awkward that made stop, take a moment of silence and think. something was wrong. then i noticed that my sis is quiet. she didn't talk to me nor greeted me. then i knew something between us was wrong, i'm really not expecting that. 'cause i thought,,,, i thought. until now, we are in the no-talking-nor-staring-at-all type. and it hurts. it hurts a lot. di aku sanay. i miss her. i miss her like hell.sana magbati na kami. hayy.

at ang latest. amp. a special guy friend! got mad at me. he was teasing me last night, and i eventually got mad because i'm really not in the mood because of the conflict between me and sis. then i told him,"nakakainis ka kasi eh.dami na nga ng problema ko dumadagdag ka pa". he got angry. masakit pala. nagkamali ako. nakalimutan ko, pikon nga pala sya and i always have to be patient with him. di ku na naisip yun eh. kasi nga tambak na problems ku. natabunan na ko. then he replied."tae.dagdag problema lang naman pala ako eh.bahala ka na nga."aww. i really don't want him to get mad at me. he's.....special.i don't know how special but i know he is. i tried to explain by telling him this, "kaw kasi eh.sinasabi na nga sayo problema ko, imbis na tumulong ka, dadagdag ka pa." wrong choice of words. tanga. tanga ko. hindi na sya nagreply. he's mad. he even snobbed me earlier in school. my fault/ i know it's my fault/ i texted him and said i'm sorry. but nothing happened. i never received a message from him until now. i feel so guilty. f*cking guilty. sorry na!

so how was my life? sinu gusto makipagpalit ng buhay? nakakaloko di ba? dagdag mu pa ang prom na wala pa ko gamit, kahit sandals. tapos may sakit pa ko. this is the worst situation that ever happened to me so far. and it sucks. it hurts. it really does. anhirap. sobra.... tulong?!

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what brings me here?!i should be doing schoolworks by now.. but i cannot concentr8.. i am sooo bothered!disturbed!and whatevr you wanna call it.. i hate being in a situation like this.. i hope i can read other's mind and feelings!so that it won't b hard for me to tell if.. if.. haix.. can't express it much..

bktb pg iba ang nanghihingi ng advice syo bcos of the "almost-the-same" problems that you have,, ang daling solusyonan.. pro pg sariling problem mo na, prang ang hirap hirap,, though its almost the same as other's problems nman..

hndi q n tlga alm.. cnu b tlga?! i'm hoping dat my past still loves me.. dats true but i don't want to be committed to someone who has so much responsibilities in life..ayoko n mkigulo pa.. ayoko dumagdag p s mga problma nya..and i'm afraid n wla xang time for such relationships.. gya nga ng sbi nya.. "di pa tmang time".. di ko alm kng dpat b akong mtuwa o mlungkot..

then here goes another guy n dumagdag p s gulo ng isip ko.. can't blame him though.. kng wla lng nman xa s buhay q, bkt q xa poproblemahin db? nung una i just ignored evrything.. ung mga cnsbi nung iba.. na.. "apple, gsto k dw nya mkilala" or "my gsto dw xa syo".. binabalewala q ksi bka itz some kind of joke or d seryoso at bka nga mkadagdag p sa problems.. pro d ngtgal ngkaklala din kmi.. then dhil sa sweet words <n dhilan kng bkt most of gurls fall for the wrong ones,, i think..>, i started to think of him,, and i even started dreaming of him! but he's not the type of guy who would go through a serious and long relationship.. cause he's.. ahmm.. whatz d right term?!playboy ba?hmm.. un ang sbi ng iba.. dunno kng cnu pni2wlaan ku,, but if totoo un,, isn't it sweet if he would change bcause of me?!and if not.. gudluck n lng skin..

another one.. hmm.. he has been my crush..as in crush for almost 7 months now.. <waah!alm n alm..>.. he really and totally turn me on! evrything he does.. as in evrything! cause he's my type.. not exctly my type ksi pg exctly c jericho rosales n un! hehe.. and whenevr he's around, blieve ,e, super kinikilig aku!As in!to the max tlga!di mwla ang smile in my face khit side view or back view nya lng ang mkkta ku.. pro i am not really expcting anything from him..sbi q p nga hanggng crush lng..until he showed signs,,interest..and evrything..grrr.. pro d p rin..i'm trying vry hard not to fall for him too much n nga eh.. but can't hide my happiness bcause of what he did..

now tell me.. cnu ba?cnu ba tlga?!

hah! I am totally exhausted but I can't deny that I had fun! [what is it all about?!] is the suspense killing you? hehe.. definitely not. I'll start narrating the story na nga so I can finish probably before midnight? [exagge!] here it goes: we, me and Pauline, went to Kadiwa to buy our t-shirt for the band marching. Actually, I volunteered to buy because of the gala that goes with the task. hehe. Jellow could've been my companion but she's not feeling well and also not permitted. So I forced Pau to go with me? [force talaga? pwersahan na to! hehe]. And she agreed, maybe because of the same thing: lacuacha! We decided that she will go home with me via our service, defender, then I'll change clothes and then sibat na! So it happened but the plan was quite different of what happened earlier. When we arrived at our home, nag paload ako agad for some purpose pero unfortunately, yung cellphone na pinaloadan ko eh wala sa bahay! my dad bought it! sayang ang paload ko, pati effort! it was my brother's cp because my mom confiscated my cp for, again, some personal reasons that I really don't want to talk about anymore. It sucks! hehe. Let's go back. Where am I na ba? Sa aming bahay, in front of the pc. [waah! ang cornee!] Iyon. Then we  entered our house and suddenly I felt that I am hungry, eventually, starving! [patay gutom!] so I decided to eat first before going to kadiwa. I took several pieces of hershey's nuggets, the white one, and gave some of it to Pau. Then I made some iced tea and got some banana cake [my mom made it! i'm proud!]. I'm not yet contented! ininit ko yung ginataan and ate it! waah! I'm so matakaw! Then we watched tv first. now and forever palabas! hehe. when I peeked at the clock, I was shocked to see that it was already 4:30 and almost 30 minutes have passed! I decided to change my clothes na, [after a century], then freshen up a bit and then we are off! haha! share ko lang, nangalog lang pala kami sa aming mga butihing classmates for our pamasahe! ang bait nyo guys! labshu! then pagbaba ng trike, sakay kami ng jeep with a kadiwa sign in it. then we waited for another passenger to arrive before giving our fare, katamad kasi pumunta near the driver! haha. then we arrived na sa kadiwa, pagbaba namin, we went the wrong way agad. we went dun sa market talaga, with lots of fruits, vegetables, with the fishy smell! then alis agad kami, not because we can't take the super EEW smell but because we realized that we went in the wrong part of kadiwa. so we crossed the street and made it to the other side, and there we found lots of tiannge stuff, those little stores that sells different kinds of stuff. bago kmai pumasok sa loob, i spotted something, a vcd, pirated one, its Jericho Rosales in the cover! its Pacquiao the movie! waah... just want to share my happiness with ya.. then we entered and found stores, we went further and further and found what we were looking for. Blue corner t-shirt that is color blue. they would've given it with an expensive price, but we made tawad and they gave in with P110.00, any size! After paying, we went off and searched for a payphone because I will call someone but there is no payphone. we searched and searched and found one but they didn't allow me to call to a cp, so it's nonsense. Then we decided to go home but we went first to pau's home so she can change and ihahatid nya aku ulet. I hate to go home alone! I'm afraid! hehe. SO wew ent i their house, there, I got the chance to call that "someone" but he's not holding the cp. bad trip! as in. we rest there for a while and checked if the t-shirts were correct. then we left their house and I told pau to go with me to AREA-E even though we both don't know where it is. when we were riding at the jeep, its already 6:30, I spotted someone, I handsome guy seated at the corner. hehe. ang kinis ng mukha nya and he's really handsome. but he looks like an elementary student, mga tipong grade 5. hehe. then when he, the handsome guy, got off the jeep, we got off the jeep also! haha! Not because of him,actually, becuase it's really time to go. hehe. Then sakay ulet kami jeep going to Dasma Bayan but we went to area-e. we got off the jeep somewhere, then went to a street leading to somewhere because we were not sure where we really were. we walked, and walked, and walked, and walked. we arrived at summerwind 4! but found no are-e anywhere. since its already late, we decide to give up seraching for area-e and just go home and ask the driver where that *@$#ing area-e was! hehe. so we rode in a jeep going to Dasma Bayan, now going home at last. we asked a passenger, a lady who sits right next to me, "saan po ung area-e?", the she pointed to summerwind, "lampas pa po sa summerwind?" pau asked, "hindi ko sigurado eh, san ba yung area-e?" tha lady replied and she asked a guy who sits beside her, probably her companion, "lampas pa yun sa summerwind" the guy replied. "ANG LAYO!" that is our reaction after knowing na lampas pa yun sa summerwind. "grabe, ang haba na ng nilakad natin tapos malayo pa pala dun yun? di natin kayang lakarin yun!" i told pau. "talag" she exclaimed. then the jeep stopped signaling that we are already in Dasma bayan, we got off the jeep tapos sumakay na ako sa trike. Bago umalis ung trike na sinasakyan ko, pau told me, "yan! alam mo na kung nasaan yung area-e"!. Tapos naghiwalay na kami. I went home and found out that my dad was not yet there. it was past 7 o'clock! my goodness! pero buti na lang wala pa sya, kundi patay ako. hehe. Then my brother told me that someone called me, it was Jun! OH MY GOD! he is the reason why we went seraching for that stupid area-e then when I got home I just missed his call! GOSH! hate it! but it was fun! quite an adventure eh?! hehe. 11:13 na.. time to sleep na.. need to recover some of my energy, baka magkaroon ulet ng adventure bukas.. hehe. bye!

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hey,, it has been months since I last updated my blog and made an entry. Because of exams, completion of requirements, schoolworks, of course, and some stuff that goes with it.

waah,, 3rd year na pala ako. Ngayon ko lang na realize after attending to school, I think, for almost a month now. Ang dami nagbago, being a junior is really hard, academically, because of chemistry and trigonometry [though our teacher in trigonometry is really handsome]. But still, I'm doing my best to maintain my grades but I'm not pressuring myself to study when I don't really feel like studying because I'll just waste my time, I will not be able memorize a thing! Jana is now my classmate, and that's really great! But the bad thing is, I don'n know why, Shek is not going with us anymore. She is spending her free time with her new friends, who are also her classmates, Adrian, Jomar, and Charissa. I think she's happy with them but I can't help but become really jealous whenever I see them. I just don't want to tell anybody about it. Baka sabihin lang nila, I'm so selfish na naman. But I really miss her. Dati, naka chat ko si Carcar, I asked her, 'bakit di ka na sumasama kina Beth?', she replied,'kasi nahihiya ako eh, magkasama sila ni Azra, pareho silang star section, baka sabihin ng iba trying hard ako.'. I was shocked. The thought that Shek is feeling the same way as hers just came up to me. Hindi ako nakaimik. Then Carcar sent a message, 'pero si beth pa rin ang bestfriend ko'. Then I logged out, If Shek feels the same way, I hope, like Carcar, we are still her bestfriends.

haay nakU! wait,, introduction muna,, bkt ba kme my mga mtv chuva na yan?? well, project po nmin yan for 3 quarters, from 2nd to third [F.Y.I],, hirap nga po eh! sobra!

anu ba gnagwa sa mtv? syempre,, shooting! haay,, imbis na mgpahinga at mtulog sa bahay evry saturdays, gumigising po aku ng maaga para mgpunta sa la salette sa shooting,, at ang la salette po ay nsa silang at ang hauz po nmen ay nsa dasma.. hayy, ang layo noh? ang aga q tuloy gumising,, at nung 1st shooting, ngkita-kita kme sa sm, at hndi p nmen alm kng saan ang location, accidente lng po ang pgpunta sa la salette, no choice na po ksi eh.. tpos isang mghapon, halos 1 scene lng ang na-shoot nmen,, muntik p nga po nmen mklimutan mg lunch eh! pnta n lng po ung iba samen sa jollibee silang bayan para bumili,, tpos work ulet! pro make-up p lng, ang tgl na kea konti lng ang ngwa nmen.. kng d p nga cnb ni sir n klangan mg-pasa ng december eh wla pa kme balak mag-shooting, tpos 40% pa un pla ng final judging..

tpos nung cnbi n mlpit na ung deadline ay d p kme nkka-1/2!! oh my! kea 1 beses n lng kme pwde mag-shoot! at can u imagine, sa maghapon ntapos nmen lhat! 5 or more scenes yta ung ntapos nmen eh! lumabas lahat ng adrenalin! hahah.. tpos after that, daan sa sm pra magpa-picture! memories!

tpos editing nmn,, halos 1 week bgo mai-clip-by-clip o ipa-transfer ung video sa cd pra ma-edit na.. tpos mai-transfer edit na! edi powerpoint ksi un ang instruction,, pero walah! pwde nmn pla sa movie maker pra mas mdali! tpos ulet na nmn,, sa movie maker.. tpos nsira! gnwa nmen ni allyan [clsm8] sa knila haus ksi bwal dto s comp nmen ksi pngit ang movie maker hindi latest,, umabot kme hnggang 1 am pra maisabay ung lyrics sa video at knta! nung ise-save na bale nmen, nwla nmn lhat ng sources!hayy! klangan ko p tuloy pmunta sa knila ng maaga, ngpunta ako ng 5 am,, hndi na nga aku nkpag-aral at wla akong ngwa na homework! pnta nmn aku doon, tpos wla pa ung isang clip kea hndi mtapos ung video! tapos sa skul n lng nmen tnapos! tapos ngaun.. tapos n.. mejo my kulang ksi ayaw mag-play ng carzy frog na un! pra sna sa bloopers,, kea 1st day funk n lng,, favorite part ko? credits! ksi unbreakable[alicia keys] ang background music! heheh..

tapos ngaun ! tapos na! try ko ipkita s inyu ung credits,., pero un lng ksi nsa skul pa ung video tlga,,

gerald cuadra - director

lara and kevin -assistant directors

ako, allyan, prince at aberion - technical

arianna, janine, rei-anne at reuben - make-up and props

beth, mara, joshua - scriptwriters

haay.. yan na po,,

hntay na lng po nmen ung judging sa feb. 14 [tuesday],, sana manalo kme!

wooh!!

go LORENZO!!

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